The Best Way to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions
It’s 2019! The holidays have come to an end and we’ve hesitantly settled back into work mode with our New Year’s resolutions in mind. New Year’s resolutions are typically goals we want to achieve and behaviors we want to eliminate so they are a great way to make a positive change in our life, but according to U.S. news, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. That’s a huge number of failed goals in just 4 weeks time. It begs the question, why do so many people fail on following through and what’s the best way to stick with them?
I’d like to propose an obvious secret, January 1st is just another day. While the new year is an exciting ‘fresh start,’ creating a very specific point in time that we’re supposed to suddenly adjust our current behaviors and make multiple changes all at once kind of sets us up for failer. I don’t mean to lessen the excitement of a new year as I love any excuse to pop a bottle of champagne, have some fun, reflect on the year that’s passed, and make goals for the year ahead.
I just believe there are smarter ways to set and stick to resolutions than assuming we can suddenly do a complete life overhaul.
First, we need to ask ourselves what’s behind our resolutions. Our ‘why?” For example, if you want to start exercising, eating healthier, learn a new language, or manage your time better. Ask yourself why haven’t you for the past year? Choosing an arbitrary day to change something we may have put off all year without really asking ourselves why doesn’t set us up for success…and for 80% it’s setting us up for failer. I believe many people put off their resolutions all year because they don’t delve into their “why.” The thoughts, feelings, and mindset that’s holding us back. Instead, people convince themselves and truly believe that at some point during the year they will start implementing change. I call this the ‘Starting Monday” phenomenon that we are all too familiar with. We consistently tell ourselves we will start making improvements on Monday, tomorrow, next week, or next year…but we rarely follow through. The more important thing to look at is why we have adopted these poor habits we want to change or haven’t achieved the goals we hope for.
If any of these resonate with you then continue reading:
- I dwell on the past
- I obsess about the future
- I compare myself to others
- I’ve lost a sense of hope in my potential or dreams
- I have negative thoughts about my choices and potential
- Why would any of the things I want happen
Find balance in the simple concept that all of us think these thoughts from time to time. There are many reasons we take up poor habits or have a hard time implementing good ones. Many surrounding self-doubts. Instead of trying to give up all the things we wish we didn’t do or begin doing the things we wish we did, we need to instead focus on adopting a new mindset. A new mindset will make us less likely to turn to the bad habits we’re trying to give up and think negative thoughts about our future potential.
What events or habits leave you feeling unhappy or generally drained. I always say ‘write everything down.’ Try taking notes about what or who makes you feel this way. Try to minimize these instances as much as possible. Added stresses and negativity can lead to bad habits and hopelessness.
My favorite thing about New Year’s resolutions is that it forces us to acknowledge the things we want to change. It pulls focus on where we could improve our lives and what might make us happier. Whether that’s exercising more, eating healthier, pursuing a new career, getting more sleep, drinking less, or making more money, think about your ‘why’ and focus on how achieving this specific goal would improve your life. Be selective and concreate in your choice of what will make the greatest impact on your health and happiness.
Have you ever not felt like exercising but convince yourself to exercise for just 30 minutes, then after the 30 minutes ends you feel motivated to keep going? The same thing plays for every goal you have. Rather than putting the pressure on yourself to achieve something right away, set small attainable goals you can achieve each day and you will naturally begin to develop these as consistent behaviors. Don’t commit to making a drastic change, rather find the confidence to commit to small steps that will help you reach these goals long-term. This makes bigger goals feel more attainable. A British researcher found that if you have a plan of concrete actions or small steps you can take on a daily basis for at least two months you won’t feel the need to ‘perform’ and instead they become consistent activities or habits in your life that encourages long term change and achievement.
This is completely personal to you. What makes your heart happy? Music, painting, the outdoors, writing, photography. Whatever it is that makes you feel truly ‘you’ should be included in your day-to-day. Endorphins and positivity will naturally encourage you.
The biggest achievement you can make is having the will to set goals for yourself, implement strategies to achieve those goals, and believe in yourself. Higher self-esteem puts you in a better position to succeed so even if you slip up you can start over again and not give up!
When you make an effort to change your mindset surrounding your resolutions you will feel happier, more fulfilled, and therefore less likely to dwell, obsess, compare, or feel unsuccessful from trying to achieve drastic goals you think will change these very human and very common feelings. Your mind is a powerful thing. Change your mindset, change your life.
